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8 Game Reviews

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That was a pretty cruel thing to make fun of...

...which is why I absolutely loved the idea :D I'll be honest with you, there was a period in my life about two years ago during which I had a lot of thoughts about self-harm and suicide, and although I wouldn't characterize myself as emo, I do still suffer from depression. Yet I still find this flash hilarious! I think it's a shame that there aren't more people with my irreverent, morbid, sick, twisted, immoral sense of humor and/or the ability to laugh at themselves, they're really missing out on a lot of funny things (like this game, for instance).

As for the flash itself, I have very few complaints. Though the graphics don't appear to have taken much work (since you chose to use mainly photographs), they don't have any glaring faults, and I feel that they fit the stylistic mood of the flash pretty well, too. I particularly liked how, as you started slashing the wrist, you could see the first drops of blood beginning to line the razor blade before the stuff began to splatter all over the screen. The "victory" image of the bloody arm was also pretty neat. Your music selection was also very good, not because I liked the song so much as that it contributed well to the overall morbidity of your game. I appreciate that the sound quality of the music was pretty good, yet did not make the file size overly large (which seems to happen with too many animations/games containing music these days). It would have been pretty cool if you added a sound effect for the splattering blood, but the absence of such a noise is by no means a detriment to your flash. My only real complaints are toward the control scheme, and a couple of grammar/spelling errors. In terms of controls, they work fine, but lack the kind of creativity that makes a game truly immersive or absorbing. It might have worked better if you could control the hand with the blade by wiggling your mouse back and forth, as if you were really making the slashing motion that is generally required to make a gash across one's own wrist. Regarding the spelling and grammar, there's just a few mistakes that should be removed or changed. However, I'm not going to outline them all, in the hope that I can avoid the risk of sounding like an obnoxious, nagging, know-it-all.

The true shining point of this flash is the humor. The idea in itself is pretty funny, and the blatant criticisms of myspace are much to my liking (I hate that site with a passion, it's like the very embodiment of superficiality in my eyes). The "puffy" sad-looking kid is a relatively amusing sight, but the real reward is the "try again? - real life" screen that you can access upon winning the game. As soon as I saw the sharp objects (the scissors and compass), my mouth spread into a wide grin, and I broke out into hysterical laughter an instant later upon reading the suggestion of listening to some "happy" music such as My Chemical Romance. I thank you for a great laugh.

It would be pretty cool if you added a couple more possible endings, maybe even just one more that is happier than the puffy kid (such as someone who expresses jubilance that borders on insanity, I would find that rather comical) for those who are not very good at cutting. In the future, I would love to see you take this idea further, maybe by creating one big game that includes several smaller self-harming mini-games (like hanging or burning, among others).

Nice work, and remember: there will always be those who appreciate your work, no matter how sick it is ;)

Definitely has potential

Well, this certainly isn't a bad submission, but I think there are many areas that could be improved. I suppose I'll start with the menu screen. I liked how you gave several options that allow the player to customize gameplay so that they can play the game in a way that will give them the most enjoyable experience. Speed is something I would have expected anyway, but to be able to turn the walls on and off was a pleasant and unexpected addition. There are, however, a couple things you could do to improve it. First of all, the font color that says "Directional Keys -" and "Spacebar - Pause the game" have very poor contrast with the background color of the menu. I would, at the very least, change this color so that this text is easier to read. It's definitely readable, but I have to sort of squint a bit to see it. Another approach you could take (which I personally think would be preferable, though it would involve more work) would be to create a menu background that puts the player into the Mario universe, perhaps an imitation of a title screen from one of the games in the series or something along those lines. Lastly (this is a minor detail), where it lets you choose whether walls are on or off, only one of the arrow buttons next to this option works at a time. Since there are only two options, it would be better if you could click either at any given time to toggle between the options, or perhaps simply put an "On" and "Off" button right next to each other which the player could easily click to change between the modes.

Now for the game itself: the programming is all sound, and although the basic idea of the game is nothing new, it's very well executed. The only thing I'd change about the gameplay itself would be to maybe add some sort of grid in the background, so you can line yourself up with the mushrooms more easily and see how close to the wall (or your tail) you are. I've noticed no obvious flaws with the controls, but, I'll be honest with you: stylistically, I feel this game has a rather long way to go. Giving the game a Mario theme is something I really appreciate, because I'm a big Mario fan, but.... well, it just doesn't feel like Mario. For a start, as I suggested with the menu screen, modify the background so that it actually looks like something out of the Mario universe. I think this would go a long way in creating the desired feeling. Also, get rid of that music! I find it boring and repetetive, but even with that aside, you would be much better off to put some music from Mario's games in the background (it'd be really neat if you could choose from one of several themes from the main menu, but that might be asking a bit much). Also, some sound effects would be nice, like playing the noise Mario makes when he gets big in the games upon eating a red mushroom, or playing the 1-Up sound when he eats a green one.

Another thing I'd change is the character you actually control. I'm sorry, but the whole "flaming tail" thing seems a bit lame, and also doesn't feel quite in place with the Mario theme. Instead, I would either put in Wiggler (the yellow caterpillar) and have a new segment added to his body every time he eats a mushroom, or maybe Yoshi, with an increasing number of (preferably multicolored) Yoshi eggs following him around. Also, the mushrooms you collect are a fine idea, but were you to change the character as I suggested, you might be better off to have another object to collect, such as the apples Yoshi can eat off the trees in Super Mario World (just throwing that suggestion out there, mushrooms really would be fine, too). If you do keep the mushrooms, I'd animate them a bit differently, though, that flashing is a bit obnoxious, and the changing sizes make it difficult to tell precisely where Mario should be to pick up the mushroom.

Anyway, I think that's all. Overall, it's a pretty neat game, I just think you need to work a bit more on sticking with the Super Mario theme ;)

This is a nice little game here

I've seen a great many futuristic space-shooters, but this has to be one of the best I've played to date. The visuals, on their own, seem rather simple, but the way you've put them together creates some very nice effects. For example, the backgrounds alone aren't incredibly intricate, yet the way you broke them into several layers and applied different scrolling speeds simulates high-speed motion very well. The variety in the gameplay is a lot better than in most, the power-ups added a very nice touch. My personal favorite was the three-way triangular shot, very useful, very fun. Some of the boss battles brought a nice level of strategy into play, forcing the player to make decisions such as which power-up to bring into the battle, or what part of the enemy should be taken out first to better reduce the risk while fighting the rest of it. The sound effects fit the game well enough, and although the musical selection didn't emotionally move me or anything, it was still enjoyable to listen to, and was never intrusive to the point where it took away from the experience at all. The handling of the ship was flawless, and the challenge presented was fairly difficult, but without driving me to the point where I wanted to put my fist, head, etc. through the computer screen. I think this is easily on par with some of the games of its genre from earlier home consoles, nice job ;)

Shows potential

This flash, by itself, is nothing incredibly groundbreaking, but, with some fine-tuning, could become very enjoyable. The graphics were nothing to write home about, really, and although they didn't subtract too much from the play value, I would suggest adding better-looking foreground terrain, as well as more realistic backgrounds and characters. Although these could be overlooked, I think the visuals would be much better if you at least use more realistic-looking lightsaber blades. I liked how you gave the choice of several battle arenas, but it would be nice if you gave a choice of a few more playable characters, too (and maybe some that people would recognize from the movies, as well, just to give it more of a Star Wars feel). Unfortunately, I feel the play control was a bit lacking. The variety of attacks is minimal, and some are rather difficult to execute at all. This, above all else, needs your attention to make a good flash. If possible, you should also add a single-player mode, with a computer-controlled character to take on, and the controls for two-player mode should be moved a bit further apart, so that two people can play against each other without constantly bumping into each other (perhaps try using WASD for directional control for one of the players). One thing that is near perfection, though, is the music selection. You chose some great pieces from the movies, and the only reason you didn't get a 10 on this was because a bit more variety would have been nice. It would be cool if you used some different background music for each stage, and used a different theme at the end, depending on whether the Sith or Jedi was victorious. Personally, I'd keep the Cantina music you already have for a Jedi victory, and replace it with the Imperial March if the Sith Lord wins.

Overall, good work, what you have here already is a great foundation for something better, and if you release an updated version, I hope you will take some of my ideas into consideration.

I don't know why...

...but this is the most enjoyable dress-up I've ever played, and I've seen a great many since I started coming here. I'm not even sure why, but it seems to present something new and innovative, something you don't see in dress-ups very often. Perhaps it's the fact you used a snowman, instead of a person, like most dress-up games, or the fact that it's a true dress-up, and not a sorry excuse for pornography, like so many of them seem to be these days. I loved some of the clothing options you provided, some of them brought a smile to my face, others were even worth a giggle :) I especially loved the whole chef outfit, as well as the sunglasses, evil teeth and bloody knife XD I liked the preloader, too, it was also fairly entertaining, at least for the time it needed to be. The best thing about this, however, is the music. It's truly beautiful, I could honestly listen to it all day. Whatever you do in the next version, don't change it!

For your next version, I would recommend a few more choices of outfits, preferably with even more humorous ones, and you should make his arms removeable, just so I can have the twisted pleasure of making them come out of the sides of his head :) There's room for improvement, but overall, great job!

X-Anthrax43 responds:

Thank you for the nice review :). In v2.5 the only thing that will be diffrent is the fact that there is going to be twice as many items to use.

Priceless

That was a nice little piece of work, rather addictive and downright hilarious, overall. I simply loved the style you used for this game, you did it in a way that it just came across as very entertaining. I gave you a high score for the somewhat crappy graphics because, well, they just fit the game perfectly. It would not have been half as fun if George Bush did not have that humorous half-dance, half-walk as he moves through the stages, and there were some rather amusing details if you looked at the backgrounds, like Osama Bin Laden and the "NO MOONING" sign. The simple happy faces on the money were also pretty funny, and the countless parallels to the Mario universe brought this to near-perfection. I have never experienced anything quite like George Bush running through side-scrolling stages with the kind of obstacles you might see in a Mario game, all the while listening to the catchy tunes and silly sound effects from a less political world. The obstacles were funny, too, especially the SUVs and oh-so-dreaded Democrats. Last, but not least, I like how you altered the game physics on certain stages to fit the environment, like the reduced gravity for the Mars stage and the slippery surfaces on the ice level. Overall, this is a great game. I would like to be able to play this with more lives, but apart from that, I really can't find much to criticize ;)

Not bad, but could be a bit better

This game, is alright, but there is still room for improvement. First, I'll point out some of the good aspects of this. The overall concept is very simple, yet rather addictive, I must admit. I like the control scheme, it's pretty good and makes fairly realistic use of gravity, while preventing the game from becoming mind-numbingly simple. Some nicely designed obstacles add to the challenge, especially where timing is concerned. My favorite thing, however, was the music. It seems to fit the game so perfectly, and it's the kind of thing I could listen to for hours at a time without getting overly bored of it. Sort of reminds me of something you might hear in a classic NES game. Now, for the things that could use improvement. First of all, the gaps through which the helicopter must squeeze are just too small. Challenge is good, to an extent, but I think this game would be more enjoyable if you eased up on it a little bit, to avoid creating major frustration for the gamer. I'd recommend widening the gaps, or reducing the sensitivity of the helicopter to touching obstacles. Also, I noticed a nasty little glitch...when you die on the second stage, it automatically takes you forward several stages for some reason. However, you have a good foundation, and if you were to fix these details up, and add more levels to it, I think this would be superb ;)

TrueDarkness responds:

wow thanks. Now this is the type of review I'm looking for. I understand all of what your saying, however a lot of people didn't like the music, but I thought it fit the game well too. I realized that bug about level 2 to another stage when u crash, after I submitted the game. Hopefully when I finish this game though, it actually WILL be superb :). Thanks for the great review!

Not good, but not turdworthy either

I honestly don't know how this landed the title "Turd of the Week," the game leaves much to be desired, but it's quite obvious that a lot more effort went into this than many other works I have seen. In the beginning, the graphics were so good it looked like a scene right out of the actual game. Unfortunately, later on, several of the pipes appeared rather glitchy, which is why I was forced to deduct several points from the graphics score. The control scheme, while not elaborate, was rather efficient, and allows Mario to move in any way he might need to in this particular game. Unfortunately, the sixty-second timer greatly decreased the play value of the game, and the lack of sound also really took away from the experience. To improve this game, I would recommend getting rid of the timer and just making the game longer overall, adding some enemies and perhaps power-ups, fixing some of the glitchy graphics, and adding sound, including some classic Mario themes or remixes, and sound effects directly from the game. Again, your game has many shortcomings, but it is a good start.

I'm a nice guy with a sick sense of humor. I have no talent whatsoever with Flash, but I do believe the reviews I write on this site are somewhat helpful. Feel free to PM me.

Age 35, Male

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