retard18426's Reviews

[Hidalgo]

This just may be the funniest thing I've ever seen

I generally try to leave extensive reviews that are rich in content, but this... this movie has left me speechless. I'm not going to lie and say that the quality on your animation was great, but it hardly matters because it was so damn funny. I started laughing the instant I saw Elmo inside a shark's mouth, and that bizarre whistling noise that accompanied the scene worked incredibly well in increasing the humor, though I have no idea what the hell the sound was actually supposed to be. I managed to get my breathing back under control for a few seconds while Ash had his way with Pikachu, but I lost it again when Oddish shot out of the latter's ass. By the time it crawled back up there, I had tears streaming down my face. But nothing on this planet, NOTHING, could have prepared me for "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Crack". The Super Mario Bros. 3 water theme worked surprisingly well there, and seeing Harry's asymmetrical red eyes rolling around in his head as he asked what sounded like "Daddy, would you like some sausage?" while sitting in a room full of the appropriate meat product suspended from strings... it was just too much to handle. I laughed so hard that I ruptured my lung, and had to depart for the hospital. I heard the title theme from Ocarina of Time as I was leaving, and thought sadly of how long I'll have to wait to watch the actual movie, after I finally recover :(

All kidding aside, though, by the time I got to the actual movie, I was laughing so hard that I thought I might never stop. I suppose this type of humor isn't for everyone, but it certainly did the trick for me. It was just so sick and random that I was perfectly willing to overlook any shortcomings in the animation style. If anything, those shortcomings actually added to the humor. Excellent job, the next time I'm down or in need of a laugh, I'll come back and give this eccentric masterpiece another run!

hyperbunny responds:

Wow, I hadn't looked back at the comments since I posted this, I don't know why. Probably because I figured everyone would hate it.

Thank you very much for the positive feedback, I'm glad we (my friend and I) made at least one person laugh. Thanks again :)

[Mario & Friends]

A lot of fun, but still has room for improvement

This is a great little collection of video game bloopers, and definitely worth watching if you're in need of a chuckle. I think the fairest way to break this down is by scene. Incidentally, I must say I love your scene selection screen. I happen to be a huge Mega Man fan, so I appreciate that you came up with the idea of modifying the stage selection screen to allow the viewer to pick a particular clip in the movie, complete with the music from the game and all. The pictures for each scene make it relatively easy to locate whichever one you need, and I like how the pictures change to the scene numbers as you hover your mouse over them. Now, on to the actual scenes!

Scene 1: The first thing I noticed about this one is the One-Up Mushroom noise that could be heard as the text appeared over Mario's head. I thought it added a really nice touch, in the sense that it just helped set the mood of being in the Mushroom Kingdom. However, the punchline feels a bit bland, and might have been funnier if Mario could perhaps be seen struggling in the lava as he bursts into flame.

Scene 2: Loved it, with Mega Man running while the overly dramatic track played in the background. I never would have made the connection that it looks like Dr. Light is searching for a contact lens, I thought that was brilliant! The only problem with this one is that the text is a bit difficult to read against the background.

Scene 3: Ah, the wonder of fart jokes. The only thing better than a fart joke is a grotesquely exaggerated fart joke. Which is why I think this would have been funnier with a longer, louder fart. It would have been great if the fart had ignited some of those bushes, too.

Scene 4: I noticed that the horizontal part of the pipe on the bottom-left is slightly misaligned with the vertical part. Otherwise, this is one of the best scenes in the whole movie. I thought the joke would be over after Mario was launched into the air, so I love how you surprised me by continuing it and having the pipe fire him into the side of the castle. The fireworks were just the icing on a beautifully made cake.

Scene 5: I think you must have mis-credited the music from this scene. Although the background is indeed Heat Man's level from Mega Man 2, the music is from Fire Man's stage in the first Mega Man game. The credits say that you used music from Mega Man 2, but I did not hear any tracks from that game. And there was not a credit for the music from the first Mega Man. I can only assume that there was a little mix-up somewhere along the line. The scene itself, however, is fine, and I particularly like the little "sproing" noise when Mega Man jumps on the Rush Coil. The underwater theme from Super Mario Bros. works surprisingly well in space.

Scene 6: Haha, I've always wanted to say something along those lines to that fairy, even if she is really a kindred spirit. The red "HEY! FATSO!" text was a bit difficult to read, although the white text caused me no trouble. Both of the voice clips here were pretty hilarious. The only other problem is that after Link runs away, you can still see his cap moving at the bottom of the screen.

Scene 7: I don't have much to say about this scene, beyond that I like how Mario curses right before the Fat Chocobo lands on his head.

Scene 8: Thankfully, the text in this one is a bit easier to read against the background. You also cut the music off at the perfect moment for comedic effect. Did you custom-sprite Mega Man pointing for the part where he laughs? Because it looks pretty good.

Scene 9: I see that you saved the best for last, or so I feel. While all the other scenes were definitely worth a hearty chuckle, this was the one that really got me laughing. Once again, the red text was a bit difficult to read, particularly where it says "Master Sword!" But you more than made up for it when Link got fried by the lightning, that was pure genius!

In summary, this animation contains all-around good sprite work, although the quality on some of those sound clips could have been better. Nice work, I'd like to see more of these!

Kreivi-Krapula responds:

Hey, Thanks Man for the massive review! This really helps me improve my upcoming flashes.

I hope to hear more from you.

[Thwomps: The Movie]

Highly enjoyable

First and foremost, I must say that I'm very impressed that you were able to create an animation this long, and maintain its considerable quality all throughout.

Visually, this piece is very pleasing. Naturally, as a sprite movie, it employs a great deal of characters and environments taken from the appropriate game (in this case, primarily Super Mario World and Super Mario All-Stars, I believe). All of this, was done very well. The frame rate and motion present in the characters could easily pass as directly from the game, which is one of the highest praises I can offer to a sprite movie. It looks like you also had some custom-spriting in there. I don't remember ever seeing a Thwomp with that level of detail in any of the games; the diversity of their facial expressions and three-dimensional appearances you appear to have added for this flick worked really well. I absolutely loved Luigi's popcorn sprite, too. It was cute, and done really nicely.

In terms of sound, this movie is also very solid. The voice acting, for me, was the single best thing about the whole movie. The voices of the two main Thwomps reflected their personalities perfectly: the more subdued Thwomp with the softer manner of speaking, and the dominant, power-hungry one with the comically commanding, gravelly tone (the latter reminds me of a voice I've heard elsewhere, probably in a professional work which I can't put my finger on. Did you by any chance try to emulate the voice of a well-known character when recording his lines?). Mario and Luigi also sounded superb, almost as if you had their actual voice actors working on this project. All voices were synchronized flawlessly with their corresponding characters' lip motion on the screen (with one exception that I'll touch on later). You also had a great selection of music that captured the moods of their designated scenes quite effectively, whether the intended mood was exciting, humorous, mournful, or otherwise. I'd imagine that this extensive soundtrack was the reason for the huge file size, but it is more than worth it.

Your action sequences were quite something. In the large battle during which the retaliating Thwomps overthrow Bowser's army, I found it very impressive how you had so many objects moving at once as they charged down their opponents. That level of attention to detail is nothing less than admirable. The final battle between the Thwomps and the Mario brothers was amazing for a sequence that lasted so long. It was fresh and exciting for its entire (considerable) duration, with some really nice combos pulled off by members of both teams.

The humor, though not side-splittingly funny, was ever-present and very welcome. There wasn't a single point during the movie where I found myself thinking "Wow, that was a really lame joke, I can't believe the author thought that would be funny." Every humorous attempt in here was, at the very least, worth a chuckle. There were several things, however, that did come across as particularly amusing to me. As I mentioned before, the voice of the more dominant-natured Thwomp was absolutely comical. Mario's bloodthirsty tendencies were priceless, I couldn't stop laughing when he kept gleefully smashing up the enemies Luigi was trying to interrogate. I also loved that shot of the Thwomp hunting down Bowser's underlings with a chainsaw, and, of course, the concept of "Pimp Thwimp."

My only major gripe is with the final scene starring the King Thwomp. The second Thwomp he is talking to doesn't have the same excellent lip-synching present in the rest of the movie. Also, the way his dialogue popped up over the whole screen seemed very out-of-place, as this is the only time this happens in the whole movie.

I strongly recommend adding a control bar for the movie. If an unexpected distraction arises, there is no way to pause (not even by right-clicking and selecting "Play", which just takes you to the next scene), and in a movie this long, it can take you a long time to get back to your place. A scene selection screen would also be nice.

Overall, great work!

Psycosis91 responds:

I'm really greatful you took the time for such a long review. I think you for all your kind words, the only things I can coment on without being smug is the last two points. The last scene where the lip syncing was out of place was intentional, a little stab at myself. You see when the King Thwomp gets sent back in time he gets put into the place he was in in the first movie 'The Thwomps', and that movie had no lip syncing and huge subtitles that were really distracting. That's why it was out of place, to make it feel that it's like the first movie (that's why the King Thwomp still has his lip sync and normal subtitles.)

A control bar would have been a good idea for the movie I admit, I'm not really good at scripoting things like that, since the actual movie is only 10 frames long (everything in movieclips) so that would have been a problem, that's also the reason there isn't a scene selection screen.

Well thanks again for the lengthy review and I'm really glad you liked it. ;D

[Self harm : the emo game]

That was a pretty cruel thing to make fun of...

...which is why I absolutely loved the idea :D I'll be honest with you, there was a period in my life about two years ago during which I had a lot of thoughts about self-harm and suicide, and although I wouldn't characterize myself as emo, I do still suffer from depression. Yet I still find this flash hilarious! I think it's a shame that there aren't more people with my irreverent, morbid, sick, twisted, immoral sense of humor and/or the ability to laugh at themselves, they're really missing out on a lot of funny things (like this game, for instance).

As for the flash itself, I have very few complaints. Though the graphics don't appear to have taken much work (since you chose to use mainly photographs), they don't have any glaring faults, and I feel that they fit the stylistic mood of the flash pretty well, too. I particularly liked how, as you started slashing the wrist, you could see the first drops of blood beginning to line the razor blade before the stuff began to splatter all over the screen. The "victory" image of the bloody arm was also pretty neat. Your music selection was also very good, not because I liked the song so much as that it contributed well to the overall morbidity of your game. I appreciate that the sound quality of the music was pretty good, yet did not make the file size overly large (which seems to happen with too many animations/games containing music these days). It would have been pretty cool if you added a sound effect for the splattering blood, but the absence of such a noise is by no means a detriment to your flash. My only real complaints are toward the control scheme, and a couple of grammar/spelling errors. In terms of controls, they work fine, but lack the kind of creativity that makes a game truly immersive or absorbing. It might have worked better if you could control the hand with the blade by wiggling your mouse back and forth, as if you were really making the slashing motion that is generally required to make a gash across one's own wrist. Regarding the spelling and grammar, there's just a few mistakes that should be removed or changed. However, I'm not going to outline them all, in the hope that I can avoid the risk of sounding like an obnoxious, nagging, know-it-all.

The true shining point of this flash is the humor. The idea in itself is pretty funny, and the blatant criticisms of myspace are much to my liking (I hate that site with a passion, it's like the very embodiment of superficiality in my eyes). The "puffy" sad-looking kid is a relatively amusing sight, but the real reward is the "try again? - real life" screen that you can access upon winning the game. As soon as I saw the sharp objects (the scissors and compass), my mouth spread into a wide grin, and I broke out into hysterical laughter an instant later upon reading the suggestion of listening to some "happy" music such as My Chemical Romance. I thank you for a great laugh.

It would be pretty cool if you added a couple more possible endings, maybe even just one more that is happier than the puffy kid (such as someone who expresses jubilance that borders on insanity, I would find that rather comical) for those who are not very good at cutting. In the future, I would love to see you take this idea further, maybe by creating one big game that includes several smaller self-harming mini-games (like hanging or burning, among others).

Nice work, and remember: there will always be those who appreciate your work, no matter how sick it is ;)

[Mario Mushroom Collector]

Definitely has potential

Well, this certainly isn't a bad submission, but I think there are many areas that could be improved. I suppose I'll start with the menu screen. I liked how you gave several options that allow the player to customize gameplay so that they can play the game in a way that will give them the most enjoyable experience. Speed is something I would have expected anyway, but to be able to turn the walls on and off was a pleasant and unexpected addition. There are, however, a couple things you could do to improve it. First of all, the font color that says "Directional Keys -" and "Spacebar - Pause the game" have very poor contrast with the background color of the menu. I would, at the very least, change this color so that this text is easier to read. It's definitely readable, but I have to sort of squint a bit to see it. Another approach you could take (which I personally think would be preferable, though it would involve more work) would be to create a menu background that puts the player into the Mario universe, perhaps an imitation of a title screen from one of the games in the series or something along those lines. Lastly (this is a minor detail), where it lets you choose whether walls are on or off, only one of the arrow buttons next to this option works at a time. Since there are only two options, it would be better if you could click either at any given time to toggle between the options, or perhaps simply put an "On" and "Off" button right next to each other which the player could easily click to change between the modes.

Now for the game itself: the programming is all sound, and although the basic idea of the game is nothing new, it's very well executed. The only thing I'd change about the gameplay itself would be to maybe add some sort of grid in the background, so you can line yourself up with the mushrooms more easily and see how close to the wall (or your tail) you are. I've noticed no obvious flaws with the controls, but, I'll be honest with you: stylistically, I feel this game has a rather long way to go. Giving the game a Mario theme is something I really appreciate, because I'm a big Mario fan, but.... well, it just doesn't feel like Mario. For a start, as I suggested with the menu screen, modify the background so that it actually looks like something out of the Mario universe. I think this would go a long way in creating the desired feeling. Also, get rid of that music! I find it boring and repetetive, but even with that aside, you would be much better off to put some music from Mario's games in the background (it'd be really neat if you could choose from one of several themes from the main menu, but that might be asking a bit much). Also, some sound effects would be nice, like playing the noise Mario makes when he gets big in the games upon eating a red mushroom, or playing the 1-Up sound when he eats a green one.

Another thing I'd change is the character you actually control. I'm sorry, but the whole "flaming tail" thing seems a bit lame, and also doesn't feel quite in place with the Mario theme. Instead, I would either put in Wiggler (the yellow caterpillar) and have a new segment added to his body every time he eats a mushroom, or maybe Yoshi, with an increasing number of (preferably multicolored) Yoshi eggs following him around. Also, the mushrooms you collect are a fine idea, but were you to change the character as I suggested, you might be better off to have another object to collect, such as the apples Yoshi can eat off the trees in Super Mario World (just throwing that suggestion out there, mushrooms really would be fine, too). If you do keep the mushrooms, I'd animate them a bit differently, though, that flashing is a bit obnoxious, and the changing sizes make it difficult to tell precisely where Mario should be to pick up the mushroom.

Anyway, I think that's all. Overall, it's a pretty neat game, I just think you need to work a bit more on sticking with the Super Mario theme ;)

[Project Inthri 2]

This is a nice little game here

I've seen a great many futuristic space-shooters, but this has to be one of the best I've played to date. The visuals, on their own, seem rather simple, but the way you've put them together creates some very nice effects. For example, the backgrounds alone aren't incredibly intricate, yet the way you broke them into several layers and applied different scrolling speeds simulates high-speed motion very well. The variety in the gameplay is a lot better than in most, the power-ups added a very nice touch. My personal favorite was the three-way triangular shot, very useful, very fun. Some of the boss battles brought a nice level of strategy into play, forcing the player to make decisions such as which power-up to bring into the battle, or what part of the enemy should be taken out first to better reduce the risk while fighting the rest of it. The sound effects fit the game well enough, and although the musical selection didn't emotionally move me or anything, it was still enjoyable to listen to, and was never intrusive to the point where it took away from the experience at all. The handling of the ship was flawless, and the challenge presented was fairly difficult, but without driving me to the point where I wanted to put my fist, head, etc. through the computer screen. I think this is easily on par with some of the games of its genre from earlier home consoles, nice job ;)